MISTAKEN STEPS
BY LEN SOUSA
Unpublished One-Act Play
(Excerpt)
Download/Print PDF File
CHARACTERS
ALEX
22-year-old student of English and philosophy at a small New England liberal arts school.
JODI
Alex’s friend from high school. A 23-year-old, part-time student at the local university studying computer information technologies.
JIM
A 29 year-old man. A victim of Mesothelioma and the dead body lying on the metal table in the funeral home basement.
PLACE
The basement of Sullivan’s Funeral Home in Hanover, Massachusetts where bodies are embalmed. A staircase leading outdoors cuts down the center of the stage. Stage left is a steel table with a body on it covered by a white sheet. Stage right is a table and miscellaneous embalming equipment. Also on the table, looking as if it doesn’t belong there, is a simple black telephone.
TIME
Early December, just after school has let out for winter, in the year 2000.
SCENE 1
(The stage is dark, with only some pale blue light illuminating the objects on stage. Center stage is a staircase that leads to a door against a back wall. Stage right is a small table with a telephone. Stage left is JIM, a dead body under a white sheet on a metal table. Much of the room is painted white but all we see are dark shapes cast under blue.
Just before the blue lights fade in, the telephone begins to ring. We hear movement on the other side of the door as the phone continues ringing.
As the ringing continues, the door is being banged into by someone on the other side of it. Some noises of the door being jimmied open with a credit card and then JODI and ALEX come tumbling through, catching themselves on the railing of the stairs as the doors closes behind them.The phone, which up to this point has been ringing continually, has just stopped.)
JODI
It’s stopped ringing.
ALEX
Figures. Is there a light switch anywhere?
JODI
I can’t see anything.
(JODI starts feeling along the wall for a switch and finds one, but only a little light comes on, not enough to light everything on stage. Stark shadows still hang over many of the objects.)
ALEX
What is this place?
JODI
Looks like a basement.
ALEX
(notices JIM’s body for the first time)
Um…
JODI
(notices the body)
Shit.
ALEX
(looking around and then back at the body)
I think it’s a funeral home.
JODI
This is the last time we break into places to answer a phone, Alex.
ALEX
This must be where they embalm people. But shouldn’t he be in a freezer or something?
JODI
(motions to body)
Do you want to take a look at him?
ALEX
Hell no. (short pause) You do it.
JODI
Come on. He’s dead, Alex.
ALEX
No, this creeps me out. Let’s just get out of here.
JODI
We’ll look once and then go. What’s the harm in looking at a dead body?
ALEX
That’s a dead person under there, Jodi. Not some freak show for you to look at.
JODI
Alex, lighten up. We haven’t done anything except drink some beer and walk around this shitty town all night. Here, we’ve got the opportunity—of a lifetime, I might say—to see something we don’t get to see every night up close and you’re being a baby.
ALEX
You want to look at him so badly, Jodi, go ahead and look. I don’t want to see him.
JODI
Fine.
(JODI walks over to JIM and approaches his head, which is upstage, and slowly lifts the sheet to look while not revealing the body to the audience or ALEX. He stands and stares at it for a while as ALEX looks on.
JODI continues to gaze at the corpse as ALEX slowly moves toward him. ALEX keeps his eyes on JODI but stops moving when JODI slowly replaces the sheet. )
ALEX
Can we go now?
JODI
(snaps out of daze)
Yeah, sure. I guess they’re not going to call back.
ALEX
Yeah, I don’t think so.
(He walks up the stairs as JODI follows behind slowly. As ALEX tries the door, the handle breaks off in his hand.)
ALEX
What the—?
JODI
What is it?
(ALEX turns around and shows JODI the handle.)
JODI
Shit, can you put it back on?
ALEX
(he tries)
No, it won’t fit on at all. The metal’s bent. Fuck!
(JODI tries to work the handle but it’s no use.)
ALEX
Fuck. Don’t tell me we’re stuck in a basement with a fucking dead guy.
JODI
Calm down. And it was your idea to answer the phone.
ALEX
That was before I knew about the dead guy.
JODI
Right, but bitching about isn’t going to get us out of here.
(ALEX thinks for a second and looks up at the door hinges.)
ALEX
Could we get the hinges off?
JODI
(inspects them)
No, you can’t get these off. They don’t have a screw, just a bolt.
ALEX
Fuck. Do you think there’s any other way out of here? Maybe a window or a vent somewhere?
(They both look around for a few seconds, inspecting the room for other ways out but find none.)
JODI
I don’t see anything. And don’t even say ‘fuck’ again.
ALEX
Well, what do we do?
JODI
There’s still the phone. We can call somebody.
ALEX
Who’s up at three o’clock in the morning?
JODI
Well, it’s Friday night. So everyone I know is probably passed out. You could call Melissa though.
ALEX
Oh, yeah, she’d appreciate this one: ‘Sweetie, we’re locked in a basement with a dead guy. Wanna come get us out?’
JODI
Say ‘pretty please’ and you’re fine. Look, I don’t know anyone to call, Alex. We’ll probably wake her up, but she’ll be sober. Just call her.
ALEX
(walks to phone)
You owe me for this.
JODI
Since this whole thing was your idea, we’re even.
(ALEX picks up the phone and presses the lever on it a few times. Presses 9 to try to get an outside line—nothing.)
ALEX
Heh, this is good.
JODI
What?
ALEX
The phone isn’t working.
JODI
What? It was ringing a few minutes ago.
ALEX
I know. But it’s not working now. There’s no dial tone.
JODI
Did you press 9?
ALEX
Yes. It’s dead, Jodi.
(JODI takes the phone from him and checks for himself—again, nothing.)
JODI
Fuck.
ALEX
I think we’re stuck here.
JODI
Why don’t you have a cell phone?
ALEX
Why don’t you?
JODI
Shut up. (pause) I think we’re stuck.
ALEX
We’ll just wait until morning for whoever to come back and open the door for us. They’ll probably call the cops, but we could probably split before they get here.
JODI
This sucks. (removes 350ml bottle of whiskey from coat) You want some?
ALEX
No, I’m done drinking for tonight.
JODI
Most people would use a situation like this to start. (JODI slumps down on the floor stage right and takes sips from his bottle.) It’d help you get to sleep.
ALEX
No, I don’t want to sleep right now.
JODI
Damn, it’s cold.
ALEX
Yeah.
(pause)
JODI
He looks pretty young.
ALEX
What?
JODI
The guy. He looks young. Maybe 30.
ALEX
Oh.
JODI
I wonder how he died.
ALEX
Look, who cares? Can you just shut up for a minute?
JODI
Shit happens, Alex. Stop thinking about it so much. Someone will come in the morning. They’ll either give us shit and call the cops, or we’ll split before they do. It’s not like they know who we are, or that we’ve even done anything except look at a dead guy and try to use their phone. So just have a drink and pass out. That’s my plan.
ALEX
Good for you.
JODI
What’s that supposed to mean?
ALEX
Nothing. Go to sleep.
(Lights.)
SCENE 2
(Lights come up and show JODI fast asleep under the table with the phone on top of it and ALEX is seated stage left, looking down at the floor under JIM.
He begins to hum “Buddy Holly” by Weezer and sing it to himself, softly at first then more intently.)
